Politics at Lonesome Lizard

Introduction

“Politics at Lonesome Lizard” was first published under the title The Conquerin’ Hero of the Humbolts in Action Stories, Volume 13, Number 11, by Fiction House, Inc., October 1936. The original manuscript title was Politics at Blue Lizard, but as Glenn Lord noted in The Last Celt, Robert E. Howard undoubtedly meant Politics at Lonesome Lizard, which is the actual name of the town in the story. This tale is one of Howard’s humorous Westerns featuring Breckinridge Elkins, combining exaggerated action, absurd misunderstandings, and colorful frontier characters into a farcical and fast-paced yarn set in Montana sheep country.

Summary

In Politics at Lonesome Lizard, Robert E. Howard once again unleashes the mighty Breckinridge Elkins into a chaotic mix of frontier politics, personal grudges, and brutal slapstick violence. The story begins when Breckinridge receives a letter from his old acquaintance Abednego Raxton, pleading for help against both rustlers and a sheepman named Ted Bissett. Breckinridge, loyal and strong as ever, rides into Lonesome Lizard only to find himself embroiled in local conflict and mistaken intentions.

He rescues a damsel from a cougar, only to learn she is Margaret Brewster—engaged to another man, but not too firmly. At the Red Warrior saloon, he encounters “Big Jon,” a massive foreign-born sheepherder imported by Bissett, and a spectacular brawl ensues. Things go from bad to worse when Breckinridge is arrested for shooting Bissett (after being provoked), but this arrest is more of a favor to the local sheriff, Johnny Willoughby, who needs a boost in his reelection campaign.

Johnny proposes staging a fake lynching to raise his political stock, but the plan is hijacked by Bissett’s gang, who try to actually hang Breckinridge. The attempt fails spectacularly when Breckinridge tears free and thrashes the mob. The story ends with the exposure of the real rustler ring—headed by Bissett himself and aided by deputy Bige Gantry—clearing the air just in time for the election. But the final twist leaves Breckinridge heartbroken when he learns that Margaret Brewster is the promised bride of the very sheriff he was helping. His violent emotional outburst that concludes the story is both humorous and a fitting cap to the series of betrayals and farcical mishaps that precede it.

Character List

  • Breckinridge Elkins – The enormous and loyal protagonist from Bear Creek, Nevada. A brawler with a sense of justice and a weakness for pretty women.
  • Abednego Raxton – A grumpy, hard-pressed cattleman who calls Breckinridge for help against rustlers and his rival, Ted Bissett.
  • Margaret Brewster – A spirited young woman saved from a cougar by Breckinridge. She admires him but is engaged to Johnny Willoughby.
  • Ted Bissett – A sheepman and secret leader of the rustler gang. A rival of Raxton who hires foreign laborers and seeks to run cattlemen off the range.
  • Big Jon – A massive, foreign-born herder employed by Bissett. Challenges Breckinridge to a brawl and is swiftly defeated.
  • Johnny Willoughby – The sheriff of Lonesome Lizard and an old acquaintance of Breckinridge. Incompetent and politically motivated, but ultimately on the right side.
  • Bige Gantry – Johnny’s deputy, secretly in league with the rustlers. He orchestrates the fake lynching that turns real.
  • Jack Campbell – Foreman for Ted Bissett and one of the masked men who attempt to lynch Breckinridge. His voice reveals his identity.
  • Unnamed Jailer – A drunk and inattentive man responsible for guarding the jail, easily incapacitated by Bissett’s gang.

Alternate titles:

POLITICS AT BLUE LIZARD and THE CONQUERIN’ HERO OF THE HUMBOLTS.

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