The story begins with Breckinridge Elkins returning home to find his father, Pap, digging buckshot out of his shoulder. Pap laments the chaos caused by pigs, a schoolteacher, an English tenderfoot, and their bloodthirsty relatives. Breckinridge maintains that the trouble wasn't his fault, recounting a series of incidents that include breaking Joel Gordon's leg, injuring Erath Elkins, and burning down Bill Kirby's cabin. However, he places the primary blame on Uncle Jeppard Grimes' razorback hog.

The chaos truly starts when Tunk Willoughby brings J. Pembroke Pemberton, an English sportsman, to Bear Creek. Tunk, recognizing the potential trouble, quickly departs. J. Pembroke, with his refined manners and unusual attire, is introduced to the Elkins family. Breckinridge is tasked with showing J. Pembroke a good time and protecting him from his own kin. They set off on a bear hunt, but J. Pembroke is more interested in his unique elephant gun and less in the practicalities of the wilderness.

During the hunt, Breckinridge leaves J. Pembroke to visit Miss Margaret Ashley, the local schoolteacher. Margaret is struggling to adapt to life on Bear Creek and is shocked when Breckinridge implies that everyone expects them to marry. Before the situation can be clarified, a gunshot interrupts them. J. Pembroke has shot off the tail of Uncle Jeppard's prized razorback, mistaking it for a wild boar.

Uncle Jeppard, furious, demands retribution. Breckinridge tries to calm him down with a gold piece, but Jeppard vows revenge. The next day, while fishing, J. Pembroke leaves and later returns from an unknown errand, appearing more enthusiastic. They head up Apache Mountain to hunt turkeys, where J. Pembroke shoots Uncle Jeppard, mistaking him for an Indian. This further inflames the family's anger.

Returning to Uncle Saul Garfield's cabin, Breckinridge is confronted by a mob led by Polk County Grimes, demanding J. Pembroke's life. A fierce fight ensues, with Breckinridge and Uncle Saul fending off their enraged relatives. The battle is interrupted when Medina Kirby announces that Bill Kirby's cabin, where Margaret boards, is on fire due to a stray bullet.

Breckinridge heroically rescues a figure from the burning cabin, only to discover it's Uncle Jeppard, not Margaret. A note left by Margaret reveals that she and J. Pembroke have eloped to Europe. The story ends with Breckinridge, dazed by the betrayal, vowing to confront Bill Glanton for introducing him to J. Pembroke and to find and confront the Englishman.