The story begins with Salem Myth and the narrator arriving in New York Harbor, concerned about the presence of Fooey Mancucu in America. Myth emphasizes the peril posed by Fooey and suggests they visit prominent men in New York to uncover Fooey's disguise as a bootlegger.

Their search begins humorously as they encounter an Irishman who cannot help them and Myth recites a classic poem, highlighting his disdain for both Jews and Irishmen. They enter a saloon where the bartender shares anecdotes about famous figures, and Myth uses his experience to trade whiskey for beer.

They visit Ben Hecht, who is surrounded by filth and engaged in eccentric behavior. Hecht shows interest in Fooey when he learns of his association with Michael Arlen’s novels. Myth, however, continues to insult and berate the narrator as they proceed to G.V. Viereck’s residence, only to be dismissed rudely.

Frustrated, Myth becomes increasingly aggressive, physically attacking the narrator. They encounter various characters, including a man they mistake for the heavyweight champion and the author F. Scotch Hitsgerald, who offers irrelevant commentary.

Myth then proposes visiting E. Helldemon Jew-less, suspecting a plot to monopolize educational resources. However, they learn Jew-less is abroad, and their search remains fruitless. The story ends with a newsboy announcing Fooey Mancucu’s flight from Canton to Hong Kong, revealing that Fooey never left the East, much to Myth's chagrin.