Pistol Politics

Introduction

“Pistol Politics” was first published in Action Stories Volume 13 Number 7, Fiction House, Inc., April 1936. The story follows the explosive mix of politics, liquor, and literacy in the rough frontier mining camp of Yeller Dog, as Breckinridge Elkins finds himself entangled in a chaotic mayoral election. The tale delivers a raucous blend of slapstick violence and social satire, focusing on how a simple spelling match devolves into mayhem.

Summary

The story begins with Breckinridge Elkins reminiscing about the trouble that started when politics and education were introduced into the peaceful mining camp of Yeller Dog. Gooseneck Wilkerson, one of the town’s two leading citizens, decides to run for mayor after converting the town’s only frame building into a city hall. His rival, Bull Hawkins, sets up his own campaign, and the town is soon consumed by political rivalry.

Gooseneck plans to impress the voters with a “symbol of progress and culture”—a spelling bee. However, after a shootout between the only two literate men in town, he tasks Breckinridge with finding someone educated enough to run the contest. Breck rides to Alderville and kidnaps Snake River Murgatroyd, a card sharp with a grudge against him, dragging him back to Yeller Dog for the event.

After a chaotic trip involving shootouts, near-drownings, and a posse chase, Snake River is left to recuperate at Old Jake Hanson’s cabin, where he’s to teach Jake’s daughter Salomey how to read. Meanwhile, Gooseneck hatches a plot to win the election by spreading a fake gold strike rumor via the perpetually drunk Soapy Jackson, distracting Bull’s voters on election day.

The spelling bee arrives, but Snake River never shows—he’s eloped with Salomey. Breckinridge is forced to conduct the spelling match himself, using a half-ruined book of The Adventures of a French Countess. The contest immediately devolves into chaos when disagreements over spelling lead to gunplay. Several participants are wounded or knocked out, and Breck is left trying to maintain order through intimidation and sheer physical force.

Old Jake bursts into the hall mid-fight, furious that Snake River has run off with his daughter. Bull Hawkins, enraged at the news, reignites the brawl. As the riot peaks, Soapy Jackson drunkenly staggers in with news of the fabricated gold strike. The entire town stampedes for Wild Hoss Gulch.

With everyone gone—including Gooseneck’s own voters—the election is ruined. Gooseneck blames Breckinridge for not warning his men about the plan and attempts to shoot him. Breckinridge, insulted and unappreciated, breaks his arm and leaves the ungrateful town behind.

Characters

  • Breckinridge Elkins – Narrator and reluctant enforcer of Gooseneck’s political schemes; a massive mountain man from Bear Creek.
  • Gooseneck Wilkerson – Candidate for mayor of Yeller Dog, scheming and ambitious, instigates the spelling match plan.
  • Bull Hawkins – Gooseneck’s political rival, rough and suspicious, supports a competing faction.
  • Snake River Murgatroyd – A monte dealer from Alderville, known for his education and hostility toward Breckinridge, abducted to run the spelling bee.
  • Soapy Jackson – Loyal to Gooseneck, usually drunk, tasked with spreading the false gold strike rumor.
  • Mule McGrath – One of Gooseneck’s followers, provides updates on Hawkins’ underhanded campaign tactics.
  • Lobo Harrison – A horse thief with a nasty attitude, part of Gooseneck’s political gang.
  • Jack Clanton – Bull Hawkins supporter and spelling match participant.
  • Jerry Brennon – Candidate to run the spelling match, killed in a duel over spelling Constantinople.
  • Bill Garrison – Rival of Brennon, also killed in the duel over spelling Constantinople.
  • Old Jake Hanson – Cabin-dwelling frontiersman who shelters Snake River and hopes to educate his daughter.
  • Salomey Hanson – Jake’s daughter, uneducated but eager; elopes with Snake River.
  • Jack McDonald – Bull Hawkins man; involved in brawl, tries to assault Breck during the melee.
  • Jim Leary – Hawkins supporter, questions the legitimacy of the spelling match.
  • Tarantula Allison – Another of Bull’s men, joins in instigating the Silver Saddle fight.
  • Bill Stark – Contestant in the spelling match, insists on spelling “Catharine” with a K, causing further violence.
  • Cap’n Kidd – Breckinridge’s temperamental and fierce horse, involved in multiple rough encounters.

Published in: