Halt! Who goes there?

Introduction

“Halt! Who Goes There?” is a whimsical and satirical tale that showcases a playful side to the mystery genre. Set across various extravagant and unlikely scenes, the story follows the comedic misadventures of a detective named Hawkshaw as he unravels a peculiar bank robbery case. With over-the-top characters and absurd situations, the narrative provides both humor and a parody of conventional detective stories.

Written by Howard for the Yellow Jacket (Howard Payne College).

Detailed summary

Prologue

The story opens in a blazing desert where a Taureg chieftain leads a caravan. Despite the harsh environment, the chieftain feels superior to the surrounding sand dunes. The caravan halts at an ancient, half-ruined city buried in the sands. In his tent, the chieftain reflects in a casual and almost comedic manner.

Chapter I – “Awhaw!”

The plot jumps to Colonel and Hawkshaw, a great detective, discussing a bank robbery at the Stacksuhkale bank in London. The robbery included a million dollars in American thrift-stamps, a million pounds of sterling, and a box of fine cigars. Hawkshaw narrows down the suspects to three unlikely candidates: the Colonel, himself, and the Khedive of Egypt. After a convoluted process of elimination, Hawkshaw concludes that the robbery must have been committed by someone else entirely. He decides to question people on the street directly about the crime.

Chapter II – The Anarchist

We then meet Alexichsky Grooglegoofgiveimoffaswiftskykickovitchinskytherearovitchsky, a bumbling anarchist, who plants a bomb under a girls’ school but forgets to light the fuse. He goes to a clubhouse for anarchists, where members engage in trivial and humorous activities. Alexichsky delivers a speech full of exaggerated grievances and proposes a toast to anarchy and Russia.

Chapter III – “Brittania Rules the Waves.”

As Alexichsky wanders down Piccadilly Circus, he is confronted by Hawkshaw and the Colonel. Hawkshaw suspects Alexichsky of the bank robbery based on his suspicious behavior and possession of stolen items. Despite Alexichsky’s denial, Hawkshaw arrests him, declaring another victory for Scotland Yard. Hawkshaw dramatically describes the method he believes Alexichsky used to rob the bank, which is refuted by Alexichsky with a simple explanation.

Epilogue

The narrative humorously shifts to an Eskimo in Alaska during mid-summer, surrounded by snow and icebergs. He flounders through the snow and kicks an iceberg out of his way before reaching his igloo and unharnessing his team of whales. This closing scene emphasizes the absurdity and playful tone of the entire story.

Characters

  • The Taureg Chieftain: Leader of the caravan in the prologue, displaying superiority over the desert environment.
  • Colonel: A character in Chapter I, involved in the discussion about the bank robbery.
  • Hawkshaw: The great detective who investigates the bank robbery with wit and absurd logic.
  • Alexichsky Grooglegoofgiveimoffaswiftskykickovitchinskytherearovitchsky: The anarchist who fails at planting a bomb and is later suspected and arrested for the bank robbery.
  • Heinie Von Shtoofe: An anarchist member who makes a speech at the clubhouse.
  • Miscellaneous Anarchists: Engaged in humorous pastimes at the anarchist clubhouse.
  • The Eskimo: Appears in the epilogue, navigating the snowy landscape of Alaska.

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