Introduction
A complete story. 650 words. Not published in Howard’s lifetime.
“Circus Charade” presents a humorous depiction of a circus performance in West Texas, where a cleverly staged act turns out to be more about showmanship and product placement than acrobatic skill. The story highlights the disparity between the performance of an overhyped “world champion” and the truly skilled but underappreciated performers who follow.
Summary
The narrator recounts a recent visit to a circus touring West Texas. The story begins with an announcement by the ringmaster introducing “Miss Gloria Spuffenheimer,” advertised as the “World’s Premier Acrobat,” who has supposedly triumphed in Europe. The grandeur of the introduction sets the stage for what is expected to be a remarkable performance.
A large Buick sedan enters the tent, driven by a uniformed Black chauffeur, who stops the car at the center ring. The ringmaster opens the door, and Miss Spuffenheimer steps out, greeted by polite applause from the audience. She is accompanied by a French maid who removes her wrap, revealing the acrobat’s glittering tights. With much fanfare and careful handling by the ringmaster, Miss Spuffenheimer is led to the trapeze, where a group of workers make a dramatic show of securing the ropes for the trapeze poles, despite the fact that they are unlikely to give way.
Once on the trapeze, Miss Spuffenheimer performs a series of basic acrobatic stunts, swinging by her hands, knees, and feet, each time receiving applause. The audience, conditioned to expect greatness, claps after every move. The highlight of her act involves pinwheeling around the trapeze, a feat performed with her right hand looped through a rope. Although this looks challenging, the narrator notes that any of the other acrobats in the show could likely perform the same stunt.
As her act drags on, the audience grows restless, and one Irishman in the crowd shouts, “Aw, dats de hokum! Give us somethin’ else for a change, kid!” Despite the dissatisfaction, the ringmaster ignores the criticism, continuing to maintain an air of royalty and importance. After completing her act, Miss Spuffenheimer is escorted back to her Buick, and the ringmaster kisses her hand as the French maid replaces her wrap. The ringmaster then announces that Miss Spuffenheimer prefers the Buick as her personal car.
The narrator later reveals the truth behind the spectacle: the car had been borrowed from a local dealership for advertising, the French maid was just another showgirl in costume, the chauffeur was actually a worker who drove stakes, and Miss Spuffenheimer herself could have been any acrobat from the show. The entire performance was a charade designed to sell Buicks.
After Miss Spuffenheimer’s departure, a parade of Buicks circles the ring, led by an elephant adorned with a sign promoting the car brand. The parade is followed by a group of acrobats who perform truly dangerous and skillful feats, but because they lack the aura of royalty and advertising, their efforts are met with little applause from the audience.
Characters
- Narrator: The observer of the events, recounting the performance with a wry sense of humor and highlighting the superficial nature of the spectacle.
- Ringmaster: The man who introduces Miss Gloria Spuffenheimer and orchestrates the entire performance with an exaggerated sense of importance, maintaining the illusion of grandeur.
- Miss Gloria Spuffenheimer: Introduced as the “World’s Premier Acrobat,” she is central to the charade. Her performance is more show than substance, relying on the audience’s conditioned applause rather than her actual skill.
- French Maid: A showgirl dressed up to play the part of Miss Spuffenheimer’s maid, adding to the theatricality of the performance.
- Negro Chauffeur: A worker with the circus, disguised as Miss Spuffenheimer’s chauffeur, who plays his role as part of the staged act.
- Buick Sales Team: Not directly involved in the performance, but the presence of the Buick sedan and later the parade of Buicks with an elephant promotes the car brand, revealing the true purpose behind the show.
- Irishman in the Crowd: A dissatisfied audience member who expresses his frustration with the act, providing a moment of comic relief.
- Other Acrobats: After Miss Spuffenheimer’s performance, a group of skilled acrobats performs dangerous and impressive feats, though they are largely ignored by the audience due to the lack of fanfare.
Published in:
- THE LAST OF THE TRUNK OCH BREV I URVAL, Paradox Entertainment, March 2007
- THE LAST OF THE TRUNK, Robert E. Howard Foundation Press, November 2007
- SENTIMENT: AN OLIO OF RARER WORKS, REH Foundation Press, December 2009